Just for Laughs: Scotty “Caber Killer” Campbell

by Thom Van Vleck

This issue we spotlight a relatively new athlete to HASA:  Scotty “Caber Killer” Campbell. (Scotty elicited these comments recently)

Scotty "The Caber Killer" getting ready to slay another caber. That's me standing there with my hand on the caber and head bowed. I'm PRAYING that the Caber Killer won't turn this nice innocent caber into firewood! (photo credit Al Myers)

I first met Scotty at the Heathen Games (AKA Wakenny Games, Festival of Beltane, and Seamus’s Follies).  It was there I first detected his disdain for the big stick.  In particular when the rest of us were turning their biggest stick with our eyes closed and one hand tied behind our back, I noticed that the Caber Killer first showed his face, much like Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk.  Scotty couldn’t get a turn and he slammed the stick down (at the time I thought it was an accident), and snapped the end.  But now, I know it was the ……CABER KILLER!!!!!!

Liam had these comments in regards to the Backyard Games:

Yes, I agree wholeheartedly.  Fine games.  Except for the weather.   Try to order better weather next time.  And maybe you could use a rubber tree for your next caber.   Then maybe Scott “the Caber Slayer” Campbell can be thwarted in his attemp to rid the universe of evil timber.  The rain forest must shudder at the mere mention of his name.

Then “Big Shot” Al Myers weighed in (pun intended) with this comment:

As for a good solution to keep Scotty from breaking cabers, just put a price sticker on them!!!

AD’s beware.  The Caber Killer is lurking near your meet this summer.  Unless, of course, he becomes too whipped after his wedding and we never see him again. (Sorry, Scott, couldn’t resist, I guess you’ll show her who wears the pants in your family…..uhhhh….poor choice of words.)

CREDIT:  The Braemar Stone Tablet, Volume #5, Issue #1