GUNNER TO THE RESCUE

BY DAVE GLASGOW

I MARRIED ONE HELL OF AN ATHLETE. MY WIFE, GUNNER, WAS BORN AT A TIME WHEN WOMEN’S SPORTS WERE NOT AS PROMINENT AS THEY ARE NOW. WHAT A SHAME! I ALWAYS FELT AS THOUGH SHE COULD HAVE ‘BEEN SOMEBODY’ IN THE ATHLETIC WORLD. SHE IS FAST, COORDINATED AND HAS THAT MAGIC ELEMENT THAT YOU CAN’T TEACH OR COACH……….HEART!

OH, SHE PLAYED INTRAMURAL SPORTS IN COLLEGE BUT THAT WAS NOT NEAR WHAT HER TALENT BASE COULD HAVE HANDLED. WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED, SHE RAN DISTANCE IN LOCAL 5/10K RACES AND DID VERY WELL. SHE RAN SIX DAYS A WEEK FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS UNTIL HER KNEES DECIDED THEY HAD HAD ENOUGH. WHEN THAT HAPPENED, SHE TURNED TO A MOUNTAIN BIKE, AND HAS DONE THAT EVER SINCE. IF MY COUNT IS CORRECT, SHE IS ON HER SIXTH BIKE. ALL OF THOSE, EXCEPT THE LATEST ONE, WERE OVERHAULED AT LEAST ONCE.

HER TRAVELS ON THE BIKE TAKE HER AS FAR AS TEN MILES OUT IN THE COUNTY, IN ALL DIRECTIONS. SHE COULD PROBABLY SHOW THE DEPUTYS A PLACE OR TWO THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT!! IT IRRITATES ME WHEN I ASK HER WHAT DIRECTION SHE IS GOING IN, SO IF SHE DOES’NT COME BACK, I KNOW WHAT WAY SHE WENT AND THE SEARCH PATERN CAN BE NARROWED (THIS MAY SEEM FATALISTIC BUT ONE DAY, IT ALMOST HAPPENED. THAT IS ANOTHER STORY). HER STOCK ANSWER IS, ‘OH, I’LL FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN I GET ON THE ROAD.’ FOLKS, I MIGHT ALSO ADD, SHE IS NOT OUT FOR A LEASURELY RIDE. SHE HITS THE RODE AND HAMMERS!!

WHICH BRINGS US TO THE MEAT OF THE STORY. ON ONE PARTICULAR DAY, GUNNER WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME AND MAYBE (I THINK SHE DID), SHE SAVED A LIFE.

AS I SAID BEFORE, SHE GOES ALL OVER THE COUNTY, ON ROADS THAT ARE GRAVEL AND SOME THAT ARE NOTHING MORE THAN POORLY MAINTAINED DIRT. IT WAS ON ONE OF THESE ‘DIRT’ ROADS, AFTER A HEAVY RAIN, THAT SHE PUT HER ATHLETIC ABILITY AND CONDITIONING TO GOOD USE.

SHE HAD GONE ABOUT A HALF MILE ON THIS ROAD WHEN SHE CAME UPON A CAR THAT WAS SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, STUCK UP TO THE FRAME. AS SHE APPROACHED, SHE DID’NT SEE ANYONE IN THE CAR. HOWEVER, WHEN SHE GOT UP TO IT, SHE SAW AN ELDERLY WOMEN SLUMPED DOWN IN THE FRONT SEAT ON THE PASSENGER SIDE, SHE APPEARED TO BE UNCONCIOUS. UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WAS’NT HARD TO SEE THERE WAS A PROBLEM.

SHE SPOKE AND NUDGED THE WOMAN, WHO ONLY MUMBLED A REPLY. IT WAS OBVIOUS TO GUNNER THAT THE OLE DAME WAS IN DIRE DISTRESS. SHE WAS IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT, ON A 95 DEGREE DAY, NOT TO MENTION THE HUMIDITY IN KANSAS ON A SUMMER DAY. THERE WAS NO WAY OF KNOWING HOW LONG SHE HAD BEEN THERE.

GUNN QUICKLY GRABBED HER WATER BOTTLE AND POURED A GOOD AMOUNT OVER THE WOMAN’S HEAD. THIS SEEEMED TO HELP, AS SHE WAS MORE RESPONSIVE. AT THIS POINT, GUNN GOT SOME WATER IN HER AND CONTINUED DOING THAT WHILE SHE DECIDED WHAT TO DO.

NOW, YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, THIS IS PROBABLY SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS BEFORE EVERYONE WAS USING A CELL PHONE. SO, WITH NO OTHER RECOURSE, SHE LEFT THE WATER BOTTLE WITH THE NOW MUCH MORE ALERT WOMAN, TURNED AROUND AND HAULED ASS TO THE NEAREST FARM HOUSE, WHICH WAS ABOUT A MILE AND A HALF AWAY. I HAVE A PICTURE IN MY MIND OF HER POUNDING THOSE PEDALS AS HARD AS SHE COULD, MUSCLES STRAINING AND SWEAT POURING, TO GET TO THAT HOUSE. I BET IT WAS SOMETHING TO SEE!

ARRIVING AT THE FARM HOUSE, SHE FOUND NO ONE AT HOME. LUCKILY, THERE WERE FARMERS IN THE FIELD, AND, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, SHE KNEW THEM. SHE JUST CYCLED RIGHT ACROSS THE WHEAT STUBBLE, GOT THEIR ATTENTION AND AWAY THEY WENT! ONE WENT TO CALL FOR HELP AND ONE WENT WITH HIS WATER BUCKET TO ASSIST THE WOMAN. ONCE HELP ARRIVED FROM TOWN, SHE, SIMPLY, RODE OFF.

IT WAS ONLY LATER THAT GUNN FOUND OUT ‘THE REST OF THE STORY’.

SEEMS AS THOUGH THE WOMAN HAD BEEN WITH HER HUSBAND, WHO WAS ELDERLY AS WELL, BECAME CONFUSED AND WENT DOWN THE DIRT ROAD BY MISTAKE. BY THE TIME HE FIGURED OUT HE WAS LOST, IT WAS TOO LATE. HE DID EVERYTHING HE COULD TO GET THEM OUT BUT WHAT HE DID ONLY MADE THE SITUATION WORSE. WHEN HE COULD NO LONGER MOVE THE VEHICLE, HE LEFT HIS WIFE IN THE CAR AND SET OUT ON FOOT TO GET HELP. I NEVER DID HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM BUT I DO KNOW THE STORY HAD A HAPPY ENDING AS EVERYONE WAS REUNITED.

WHEN SHE TOLD ME THE STORY THAT DAY, I SAID, ‘GUNN!! YOU SAVED THAT WOMAN’S LIFE!’ SHE POO-POOED THAT NOTION RIGHT AWAY. ‘OH, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT.’ WHICH IS THE VERY HUMBLE, UNASSUMING, ATHLETIC GIRL I HAVE BEEN HOOKED UP WITH FOR FORTY YEARS.