Monthly Archives: December 2014

GUNNER TO THE RESCUE

BY DAVE GLASGOW

I MARRIED ONE HELL OF AN ATHLETE. MY WIFE, GUNNER, WAS BORN AT A TIME WHEN WOMEN’S SPORTS WERE NOT AS PROMINENT AS THEY ARE NOW. WHAT A SHAME! I ALWAYS FELT AS THOUGH SHE COULD HAVE ‘BEEN SOMEBODY’ IN THE ATHLETIC WORLD. SHE IS FAST, COORDINATED AND HAS THAT MAGIC ELEMENT THAT YOU CAN’T TEACH OR COACH……….HEART!

OH, SHE PLAYED INTRAMURAL SPORTS IN COLLEGE BUT THAT WAS NOT NEAR WHAT HER TALENT BASE COULD HAVE HANDLED. WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED, SHE RAN DISTANCE IN LOCAL 5/10K RACES AND DID VERY WELL. SHE RAN SIX DAYS A WEEK FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS UNTIL HER KNEES DECIDED THEY HAD HAD ENOUGH. WHEN THAT HAPPENED, SHE TURNED TO A MOUNTAIN BIKE, AND HAS DONE THAT EVER SINCE. IF MY COUNT IS CORRECT, SHE IS ON HER SIXTH BIKE. ALL OF THOSE, EXCEPT THE LATEST ONE, WERE OVERHAULED AT LEAST ONCE.

HER TRAVELS ON THE BIKE TAKE HER AS FAR AS TEN MILES OUT IN THE COUNTY, IN ALL DIRECTIONS. SHE COULD PROBABLY SHOW THE DEPUTYS A PLACE OR TWO THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT!! IT IRRITATES ME WHEN I ASK HER WHAT DIRECTION SHE IS GOING IN, SO IF SHE DOES’NT COME BACK, I KNOW WHAT WAY SHE WENT AND THE SEARCH PATERN CAN BE NARROWED (THIS MAY SEEM FATALISTIC BUT ONE DAY, IT ALMOST HAPPENED. THAT IS ANOTHER STORY). HER STOCK ANSWER IS, ‘OH, I’LL FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN I GET ON THE ROAD.’ FOLKS, I MIGHT ALSO ADD, SHE IS NOT OUT FOR A LEASURELY RIDE. SHE HITS THE RODE AND HAMMERS!!

WHICH BRINGS US TO THE MEAT OF THE STORY. ON ONE PARTICULAR DAY, GUNNER WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE, AT THE RIGHT TIME AND MAYBE (I THINK SHE DID), SHE SAVED A LIFE.

AS I SAID BEFORE, SHE GOES ALL OVER THE COUNTY, ON ROADS THAT ARE GRAVEL AND SOME THAT ARE NOTHING MORE THAN POORLY MAINTAINED DIRT. IT WAS ON ONE OF THESE ‘DIRT’ ROADS, AFTER A HEAVY RAIN, THAT SHE PUT HER ATHLETIC ABILITY AND CONDITIONING TO GOOD USE.

SHE HAD GONE ABOUT A HALF MILE ON THIS ROAD WHEN SHE CAME UPON A CAR THAT WAS SQUARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, STUCK UP TO THE FRAME. AS SHE APPROACHED, SHE DID’NT SEE ANYONE IN THE CAR. HOWEVER, WHEN SHE GOT UP TO IT, SHE SAW AN ELDERLY WOMEN SLUMPED DOWN IN THE FRONT SEAT ON THE PASSENGER SIDE, SHE APPEARED TO BE UNCONCIOUS. UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES, IT WAS’NT HARD TO SEE THERE WAS A PROBLEM.

SHE SPOKE AND NUDGED THE WOMAN, WHO ONLY MUMBLED A REPLY. IT WAS OBVIOUS TO GUNNER THAT THE OLE DAME WAS IN DIRE DISTRESS. SHE WAS IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT, ON A 95 DEGREE DAY, NOT TO MENTION THE HUMIDITY IN KANSAS ON A SUMMER DAY. THERE WAS NO WAY OF KNOWING HOW LONG SHE HAD BEEN THERE.

GUNN QUICKLY GRABBED HER WATER BOTTLE AND POURED A GOOD AMOUNT OVER THE WOMAN’S HEAD. THIS SEEEMED TO HELP, AS SHE WAS MORE RESPONSIVE. AT THIS POINT, GUNN GOT SOME WATER IN HER AND CONTINUED DOING THAT WHILE SHE DECIDED WHAT TO DO.

NOW, YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, THIS IS PROBABLY SEVEN OR EIGHT YEARS BEFORE EVERYONE WAS USING A CELL PHONE. SO, WITH NO OTHER RECOURSE, SHE LEFT THE WATER BOTTLE WITH THE NOW MUCH MORE ALERT WOMAN, TURNED AROUND AND HAULED ASS TO THE NEAREST FARM HOUSE, WHICH WAS ABOUT A MILE AND A HALF AWAY. I HAVE A PICTURE IN MY MIND OF HER POUNDING THOSE PEDALS AS HARD AS SHE COULD, MUSCLES STRAINING AND SWEAT POURING, TO GET TO THAT HOUSE. I BET IT WAS SOMETHING TO SEE!

ARRIVING AT THE FARM HOUSE, SHE FOUND NO ONE AT HOME. LUCKILY, THERE WERE FARMERS IN THE FIELD, AND, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, SHE KNEW THEM. SHE JUST CYCLED RIGHT ACROSS THE WHEAT STUBBLE, GOT THEIR ATTENTION AND AWAY THEY WENT! ONE WENT TO CALL FOR HELP AND ONE WENT WITH HIS WATER BUCKET TO ASSIST THE WOMAN. ONCE HELP ARRIVED FROM TOWN, SHE, SIMPLY, RODE OFF.

IT WAS ONLY LATER THAT GUNN FOUND OUT ‘THE REST OF THE STORY’.

SEEMS AS THOUGH THE WOMAN HAD BEEN WITH HER HUSBAND, WHO WAS ELDERLY AS WELL, BECAME CONFUSED AND WENT DOWN THE DIRT ROAD BY MISTAKE. BY THE TIME HE FIGURED OUT HE WAS LOST, IT WAS TOO LATE. HE DID EVERYTHING HE COULD TO GET THEM OUT BUT WHAT HE DID ONLY MADE THE SITUATION WORSE. WHEN HE COULD NO LONGER MOVE THE VEHICLE, HE LEFT HIS WIFE IN THE CAR AND SET OUT ON FOOT TO GET HELP. I NEVER DID HEAR WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM BUT I DO KNOW THE STORY HAD A HAPPY ENDING AS EVERYONE WAS REUNITED.

WHEN SHE TOLD ME THE STORY THAT DAY, I SAID, ‘GUNN!! YOU SAVED THAT WOMAN’S LIFE!’ SHE POO-POOED THAT NOTION RIGHT AWAY. ‘OH, I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT.’ WHICH IS THE VERY HUMBLE, UNASSUMING, ATHLETIC GIRL I HAVE BEEN HOOKED UP WITH FOR FORTY YEARS.

Heavy Lift Championships

by Eric Todd

MEET ANNOUNCEMENT 2015 USAWA HEAVY LIFT CHAMPIONSHIPS

Make plans now! The 2015 USAWA Heavy Lift Championship will be held on May 2 at ET’s House of Iron and Stone. This location is about an hour north of Kansas City right in the center of God’s Country. We will be contesting the three traditional lifts in this meet: Neck Lift, Hand and Thigh, and Hip lift. Come ready to lift big and see big weights moved. I know we are still a few hundred pound plates shy of the Dino Gym, but with 24 of them and plenty of change, we should be able to accommodate any lifter in these lifts. I know I mention this with every meet announcement, but I don’t want anyone coming here with delusions of lifting at Caesar’s Palace or anything. The only frills in my gym are lots of weights. It is typically beautiful weather around May 2 in Missouri. However, if it is cold out we will get cold, and if it is hot out, we will get hot. I have plenty of places to drop a whiz in the green grass. OR, if you are bashful, there is an outhouse out back. Last meet, I even swept out all the wasps nests and spider webs. TP is in the ammo box. So, if those conditions don’t suit you, see you at the next meet at someone else’s gym. With that being said, I would like to see all the big hitters in the heavy lifts make this meet. This meet has been dominated by a handful of people. See if you can add your name to the list. I have seen a number of guys posting heavy lift videos. Hope you can all make it to the meet and make your mark. We will have a short record breaking session after the meet for anybody who has not done enough by that time. See you there! ENTRY FORM (PDF) – Heavy Lift Entry